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No More Letting Go has started a quiet revolution among family members grappling with addiction. Acclaimed by treatment professionals and lay people alike, this book presents a new and compelling strategy for dealing with alcoholism and drug addiction.

Debra Jay shows families how to stop enabling and start getting their loved ones into treatment. She also describes common manipulations used by alcoholics and addicts, and how to stop them.

“Passionate, original, and thought-provoking, No More Letting Go is a must-have book for families and friends of addicted people. This book will save lives.” —Katherine Ketcham, coauthor of Under the Influence

Critical acclaim for No More Letting Go

Publishers Weekly:

"Addiction counselors have typically assumed several things: recovery can occur only when the addict decides he or she needs help; this happens only when the addict hits 'rock bottom'; until then, the addict's loved ones should detach emotionally. But Jay, an intervention specialist and author of Love First, believes that untreated addiction is unacceptable because it wrecks families and destroys lives. She outlines a plan to help families get assistance for their addicted loved one without waiting for 'rock bottom.'

"Intriguingly, Jay also casts the battle against addiction as a kind of spiritual war: she redefines detachment as 'a spiritual quality that makes action possible,' and describes such action as an act of faith. A fascinating section entitled "What We Know Now," details current genetic and neuroscientific research into people's varying susceptibilities to addiction."

Library Journal (starred review):

"Noted lecturer, columnist, and nationally renowned interventionist Jay (coauthor, Love First: A New Approach to Intervention for Alcoholism & Drug Addiction) has written a landmark book about action. As in Love First, she emphasizes that alcoholics and drug addicts do not have to hit rock bottom before they can get sober. Action, she writes, is the key to unlocking the cycle of destruction, and those whose lives are out of control do not have to want help to get help. Bringing a holistic approach to intervention and treatment, she shows how the minds, bodies, and spirits of alcoholics and drug addicts are intertwined and explores assumptions, emotions, thought processes, and physiological changes (particularly those of the brain). Written primarily for the families of drug and alcohol abusers, this logically arranged and poignantly written book is an essential part of any public library collection; with an extensive list of resources for treatment and recovery.

"Detachment has been the standard message of most addiction literature for the last twenty years. The conventional wisdom offered to an addict’s loved ones has been to let the addict “hit bottom” before intervening. Now intervention specialist Debra Jay challenges this belief and offers a bold new approach to treating addiction that provides a practical and spiritual lifeline to families struggling with alcohol or drug abuse.

"In No More Letting Go, Jay argues that the traditional advice of “letting go” too often destroys both the addict and the family physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Jay contends that addiction is everybody’s business–not just the addict’s–and addiction doesn’t have the right to trump the welfare of a family.

"In short, highly accessible chapters written with warmth, understanding, and compassion, Jay weaves together philosophical and religious thought; new science on the brain function of an addict; the physical and psychological impact of addiction on family members; and poignant, real-life family stories.

"No More Letting Go is a powerful, informative guide that provides comfort, hope, and practical advice to anyone affected by a family member’s addiction."

To read excerpts from No More Letting Go click below:
Introduction: It Takes a Family
Chapter One: Hitting Bottom is a Family Affair